If you’ve never had cancer, you likely won’t be able to appreciate why this day in early February was so special for me. If you’re lucky, you get to live with cancer. And, if you’ve been one of the lucky ones, you’re living among angels, because angels are part of the magic, they make the stars align, they put you in front of just the right physicians and caregivers, maybe the only ones who know what to do to help you live.
Several weeks ago, Jill and I met one of our angels.
If you know us, you know our story. If you’re new to my blog, there are a couple hundred thousand words here going back to June 10, 2009 when I had my first encounter with renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer or RCC). Very shortly after my diagnosis, Susan Poteat reached out to me after I posted a plea for help on an email LISTSERV named acor.org, now called smartpatients.com. I had done enough research to know this cancer was rare and dangerous and I desperately wanted information that might help me live.
Susan is a locum tenens medical physicist. Locum tenens means “to hold the place for, to substitute for.” So, she travels to a clinic or hospital that has a medical physicist shortage for one reason or another and fills in for them on a contract basis until the person returns or the job is filled. She works in radiation oncology, with oncologists, surgeons and technicians watching over the numbers, radiation dosages, the patients internal organs, metabolic rates and blood flow.
In addition to her sparkling intelligence, she has a servant’s heart for people with RCC because her medical physicist husband, Gary, is also a renal cell cancer patient. Susan has been there for me more times than I can count over the past eight years since cancer came. For eight years, we have talked on the phone, emailed and texted, with information flowing in only one direction — toward me. We have talked when I was afraid I was going to die and when I was flying high from a stint of “normal,” those days when cancer seemed to be leaving me alone. She has been a great listener, a steady source of good, useful information and a beacon of light during days that were sometimes so dark I couldn’t see the end of my nose.
I started writing this post a few weeks ago, the day after we met Susan and Gary for lunch here in Columbus during our visit. I put it aside, to come back to and information I just received today made me get this back out and finish the post. Because today, I found out that I have another metastasis in my spine. That is really all I know at this point. More questions than answers. Is the spine the only place where I have active disease? Is it is the same place as last time? What about my lungs? My brain? Are there mets there, too? Do I go back to systemic therapy? Is radiation alone going to do it, or can I even have more radiation at the site where there is active disease?
I’ll know the answers to all these questions and many more when I have definitive CT and bone scans. And, when I get those answers, I’ll be posting about what we found. I’ve known for eight years that there was a high probability that this day would come. Knowing the day has arrived is still just as shocking as I thought it might be. Not so much fear, at this point. Just anger, and that might not be a bad thing. I know all the prayers and support we’ve received have served us well these past eight years, and with this post, I’m looking you right in the eyes and asking for their continuance.
We will, once we know what we’re dealing with, run straight at it. That’s the way we roll around here. I’m expecting this to be another milestone which we’ll conquer. In the meantime, I’m going to be busy staying busy.
Ashley Parkman Smith says
Thankful for angels and for people like you and Jill in our community, Mike. Praying for y’all!
Paula Acton says
Sending hugs and prayers and more prayers to surround you.
Eleanor Burnham says
Sending love and prayers for both you and Jill. Eleanor Burnham
Jim Crosse says
Saddened and disappointed to hear the news. Be assured that along with you and all who love you I will be praying for your complete healing. Shalom.
Dot Hamer says
Prayers ~
Betsy Covington says
I don’t think that my running into you was utter coincidence. I’m not giving up my place on the team, baby!
Bebe Bahnsen says
I am sorry you have to deal with another metastasis and I know you have the toughness and confidence to deal with it. I had a great radiation oncologist at Mayo and they use Jacksonvillle physicicists. I was a bit alarmed to realize physicicists were involved but they are essential. Here’s the news I haven’t mentioned on FB but my radiation may have worked. They knew it wouldn’t kill the tumor but hoped it would remove everything on it, including cancer cells. I had a few tough days with radiation but generally did fine. Several weeks after I finished treatment I saw the doctor again and she was enthusiastic about the final report. Not only did the tumor look clean. It had slightly shrunk. On my own I began reducing my anti-seizure meds but I’ve seen Dr. Verson, my great local neurologist and we worked out a schedule for those lower meds. Next week I’ll get an EEG and we’ll know more. I always think of you when I face crises and I admire the strength you and Jill share in your fight.
Bebe Bahnsen says
I should say that I went to Hughston because of back pain and the doctor ordered an MRI of my back to be sure I didn’t have a meningioma there. I did not. A relief.
Beverly Alexander says
Prayers sent… God bless
Carole Rutland says
We love you Mike and you are in our hearts and prayers.
So glad we’re working together and that you said yes!
Prayers are going up for you and Jill.
Bill Henry says
So sorry to learn of this. Sandra and I have you covered in a blanket of prayers, my friend.
Ruth Martin says
Mike, I am sorry to read of this news. I know the feeling only too well with my beloved Pearson. So many times I told Derek and Shana to stay strong and steady trusting God Almighty the Great Physician. I will once again increase my prayers for your complete healing and peace for you, Jill and families through this valley. Your are greatly loved.
Jack Basset says
Crap! I don’t want to hear this. You and Jill have fought long, hard, and enough. The two of you are the strongest cancer fighters I’ve known.
Thank God for your angels. I guess you’ll have to gather them up and go at it again.
I love you both more than I can say!
Tom says
Hugs and prayers. I have trust that the radiation will zap this one. I Pray fervently that it is an isolated event. Love you and will pray for you daily. Tom
Debbie King says
Oh, Mike, I just sent up a prayer and will continue to pray for you! Love you, Man!
Judy Walsh says
Feeling numb/shocked/angry to hear this news but not too numb/shocked/angry to pray hard and fast for you to conquer it once again. You are a mighty warrior, the Big C has found, and you have a mighty tribe behind you and Jill. Much love along with the prayers.
Laurie Bozeman says
We are so sorry to read your news. We send our prayers for you and Jill.
Gail Greenblatt says
Count me in!
Guy Sims says
I understand where you are. Anne and I went through a similar experience when she discovered she had breast cancer the second time after 13 years of no cancer. It is scary, especially when it comes out of the blue, unexpected. Praying you will find out what all is going on and your doctors will know what treatment (s) will take care of it. Just know I care.
Callie says
Commence warrior mode! Your support network is at the ready, sending thoughts of love, health and peace to you and Jill.
Jessica Barrick says
Well damn! Our thoughts and prayers are with you. If the folks at The Mitchell Cancer Center in Mobile could be helpful, please let us know. They are doing amazing research and treatments down here. Please keep all of your posse informed. Hugs…
Sherida Brannan says
Continuing to send thoughts & prayers for you & Jill!
Linda Willoughby says
Mike and Jill – sorry to hear this news. Mike you should be wearing a warrior helmet in your picture because that is how I see you and Jill – both warriors fighting side by side. You guys are my heros for allowing people like me in to see the human being in you that I can relate to. You both have always been so open with me, it has made it easy to be open to you with my life. I love you both! Fight on! Never give up!
Love to thee from me, Linda WIlloughby
Jean Thomas says
Mike, my friend, I am angry, too. Sending , ❤️, hugs, and peace of mind and spirit to you and Jill. Jean and Larry Thomas
Janet Sue Gray says
You can do this.
Continued & perpetual prayers
For healing, repeat remission and
Peace beyond all understanding.
God is using you.
Keep fighting and writing.
The good, the bad & the ugly.
All for HIS GLORY!
You are so loved Mike~
By so many!
Patsy Dean says
Well that cancer had better watch out, because it obviously doesn’t know who it’s up against! You and Jill have never backed down from a challenge, so I know y’all have got this. Just in case you need some extra help, there is power in prayer, so Steve and I will be praying every minute of every day for the two of you and your doctors also.
Robert B. Simpson says
So sorry to hear this news. Fortunately, you are a fighter with a fighter by your side, and you have the prayers of many being offered, mine included.
Lindsay says
thinking of you! Love you!
Karen Lewis says
You have new additions to your prayer warriors. Your strength is everyone’s inspiration.
Ann McDuffie says
Mike,
I’m so sorry to hear this news. You have many earthly angels helping and praying for you along with excellent medical teams please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
Becky Ivey says
Thinking about my 8 year anniversary as I walked today…and you can to mind, Mike.
You and Jill are in my prayers.
Ed Gerrard says
Wishing you the greatest luck from a fellow RCC stage four. Keep on going and shrink those mets.
Jack pezold says
Mike, I too am terribly disappointed. However, we can sincerely pray for God’s Healing Grace to sustain you. But more importantly, as a child of the King, take comfort in knowing that your future is secure, whatever the the prognosis about this mortal body. JoRhee and I will be praying for your deliverance from this awful recurrence, and claiming your total healing, knowing that by the power of Holy Spirit, ALL things are possible to those who know Him. Stay strong in your witness in order to bring glory to His Name. Love ya’ bro, jack
William Venable says
I’m praying for you, cousin. With love, Mark
Michael Silverstein says
Susan and I will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers and we ask that G-d continue to shine his countenance down on you and Jill.
Bobby Ammons says
prayers Mike..i just had a scare and sincerely believe the multitude of prayers..support..love had a huge impact
Margie Ivey says
So sorry to hear this. I will be praying and asking others to join. Blessings, hugs and love!
Larry Sanders says
We both know that you have amassed a great team of professionals to take you through these challenges. We also know what an incredible fighter you are. Standing with you in every way possible, my friend.
Kathy Garrison says
Praying for you and Jill!
Sheree Harper says
Mike and Jill so so sorry. Will be praying for the best results and strength to carry you through this next journey. Love you….
Leah Braxton says
I’m ready to be your prayer warrior again!! You and Jill were so very courageous, sharing with all of us your battles, travels, ups and downs. I know you will be strong and fight with all you got. Get after it! God bless you and Jill- prayers lifted!
Susan Cheney says
Oh Mike!! And Jill! I’ll start by saying yes. And follow that yes with my “fast” for Lent this year. It is a fast from the normal. While my normal would be to say, “I’m so sorry. I’ll be praying” My fasting response is to say, “Thank you.” For allowing us to be a part of your journey; to see you as real as this disgusting diesease is and can be. Without your depth of transparency, others might not see hope or know about the options. Without your witness of true emotions, true fears, true happiness at every victory, others might not see those the same way in their own journey.
Personally, I’m one of those who has maybe been on the luckier side of the big C. While I did learn what it was to deal with cancer at a young age, watching it take my mother’s life, and did give up my womb and hopes of becoming a mother to it, I rather consider my own experience with cancer minor in comparison to most stories I hear. Certainly with yours. What I hope for and will pray for daily is your continued faith in your God, the Creator who will carry you through to Victory!! And for those who read your eloquent way of sharing your journey to experience that faith as the source of strength that we must all learn to depend on, no matter the obstacle placed in our path.
With much love and admiration for you and Jill, I will consider it an honor to approach the Throng of Grace on your behalf.
Marian Carcache says
Sending love and prayers, Mike and Jill.
Tom Butler says
Michael,
Marilyn and I send our love and best wishes to you and Jill. Stay strong and remain optimistic.
Tom
Pat Daniel says
Steve and I are so very sad to hear this news that we hoped would never come. It has been so good to see you happy, feeling good and enjoying yourselves. We will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers daily. We will pray that this is a brief bump in your journey. Know that we love you both. Pat
Susan M. Grist says
I am sorry to hear that the battle is on again, but you and Jill are such warriors. You will be in my prayers for a quick and complete recovery.
Rick and Cindy DeHaven says
Just saw you about a week ago. Keep the faith Mike and I know the feelings your going through.
Sherrie says
Your network of angels will rally and be with you head on as you confront this. Praying that you can take comfort in knowing and feeling us with you as well as God’s loving arms. We all love you dearly and will pray mightily.
Gloria Johnson says
Lamar and I are standing ready to be active members of your team again. We will be praying that your angels will find the answer to your recovery quickly.
Theri Brooks says
Mike, you and Jill are in my prayers. I was so sorry to read you are having problems again but you and Jill are an inspiration for those fighting cancer daily!
Warren Steele says
Sending prayers and much love your way, my friend.
Gabe Denes says
Mike sorry to hear about this hurdle. Gabollini and Kayollini have high hopes that you can go get it and beat it. You will be in our prayers at our table.
Karen Spears Zacharias says
Continued prayers, Mike and Jill. You have been the angels to so many of us, inviting us along on this journey, showing us where faith meets reality, where hope meets despair, and where kindness abounds aplenty. Wrapping you in a love blanket right now.
Teresa baker says
I love you mike venable and my sweet friend jill.
Rick Bowers says
Mike,
Saying prayers for you up here in snowy Montana….hope you find many angels to help in your healing quest!
Gary and Shelice says
You are such an amazing human. You and Jill are continually in our prayers.
Sandra Henry says
In our prayers of thanksgiving for the inspiration you and Jill have been to all of us, Mike, we will add again prayers of healing and wholeness for you. Peace and blessings, Sandra & Bill
Wendy says
Lifting you, Jill, the angels and doctors in prayer!
Karen E says
Very best wishes for great outcomes from a fellow stage IVer in sunny cold Canada
Margaret and John Page says
Don’t think you can have too many good wishes and prayers. Add us to your Cloud of Witnesses and know that we will be thinking of you both.
Carol Ann Kaplan says
Mike I will continue to pray for your and the countless others who are suffering from this horrific disease.
Praying also for Jill and your boys and all of the people you have touched.
Sydney Smith says
So sorry to hear this news. You and Jill are in my thoughts and prayers as you face the future. Much love to you both. Sydney
Mike Tallent says
Mike,
Angel’s are definitely a part of the magic and I pray that they cleanse your body of this horrible disease.
God bless,
Mike
Betsy Leebern says
Praying that you will be blessed with healing, courage and comfort.
Sally Cash Whitt says
Mike,
I am so sorry to hear this news. I am praying for you and Jill.
Pat Waldrop says
Just another BEND IN THE ROAD! You and Jill have got this! I join all of your other prayer warriors and know that you are in the best of hands! Praying, here in Crawford, right now and will continue to be on your prayer team! I am honored to have loved you both for the past 25 years! Keep fighting!
Susan Chriss says
Mike, you and Jill are in my thoughts and prayers.
Jed G. Harris, Jr. says
Mike,
You and Jill are such an inspiration. Thanks for sharing your journey. Continued prayers for your healing including others with health issues.
Debbie R. Hinman says
Jill and Mike,
Praying for you each step of the way. As you said, this makes you mad. It makes us mad! Get fired up and fight this evil disease as the two of you know you can. Your prayer warriors Are With You every step of the way!
Karen Jimmerson says
Prayers to you and Jill. Prayers are very powerful – they worked the first time. Don’t ever give up.
Cindy pope says
Mike,
So sorry for the news!
Please know you and Jill are in our prayers. We will be there for you every step of this journey. Prayers for healing and strength for you.
Love you and Jill
Let us know if we can do anything.
Pat Fuller Bush says
After hearing the word CANCER everyday is a challenge. Good days and not so good ones. You are a warrior. Fight on my friend. Prayers for you from Ray and I.
Dell McMullen says
Mike, I had so hoped this day would never come. Know you are in my prayers, Mike. Hugs to you and Jill, and blessings on you both as you fight the good fight. Love to you both. Dell
Celia solomon says
Both of us will continue as we have been to hold you in that hopeful place in our hearts. We can only imagine how hard it must be to to deal with the ups and downs of that dreaded disease.. Tight hugs and love to you both. , Celia and Murray
Carter Seaton says
Oh crap. Mike, I know this isn’t what you or Jill wanted. I’m with you, buddy. It’s like Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition. No one is ever ready for it. But I know your strength, and Jill’s. You’ll fight as hard as you and and I’m confident that you’ll win again.
Frank Brown says
Mike and Jill, know that our prayers are fervent and continuous. Our God is our ally in the battles of life and He has promised to stand with us through all our challenges.
Jo Ann and I send our love.
Jo Ann and Frank
Andy Waddell says
Mike and Jill, dear courageous and inspirational friends, know that Marti and I lift you in prayer for your healing.
Debbie and Eric Kinard says
Mike, we are praying for you to get past this new bump in the road. You are a real fighter!
Brooks Dykes says
I have no doubt that you will lick this while nspiring others to have your courage.
Nancy Boyd says
Mike, Prayers continue for you and Jill. Please continue to keep your positive attitude and perseverance going. Your are certainly an inspiration for Jim and me and so many others. We will look forward to continued postings from you.
Lambo says
Prayers for His grace and healing brother. Love you both.
Romans 5: 3-5 — Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering
produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to
shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Pat Frey says
Prayers of peace and healing !!!!
David Cox says
Mike, so many thoughts are running through my head. My prayers are out for you and Jill. May God Bless you again and again, because your a blessing to me.
Connie Jackson says
Oh Mike, what a pisser that you and Jill have to get through another challenge like this. Gene and I will “up” our prayers and positive energies for you both!