I awoke this morning to back pain. I wrote in an email to a member of our family who is an emergency room/trauma physician that it feels like two tectonic plates of stone jockeying for position in my back with an overtone of toothache-style siren song pain. The seismic stuff can be talked into calming down with a twist or wiggle or repositioning my back. It is that ever-present siren pain that makes me the most uncomfortable.
I had a follow up visit with neurosurgeon Dr. Mike Gorum this morning and told him about the pain. He said, “Mike, you’re recovering from back surgery. That was no small procedure we did inside your back. That is why you’re in pain.” I was encouraged by that. That this is normal recovery pain versus tumor pain is comforting — if pain of this magnitude can possibly be comforting. Well, you know what I mean.
I want to thank our Mac consultant, Gerrit DeWitt, for getting this blog moved to its new location complete with a workable email notification system. Beginning with this email, those of you who were regular readers of my former carepages site will be informed when there is a new post to read. I’ll also be posting to facebook and Twitter so that others who are interested in my journey will be alerted to the presence of a new post. Jill and I read every post multiple times. I’m drawing strength from them, so don’t hold back.
In addition to the daily and constant gift of the love of Jill, I’m experiencing other healing moments. Marquette McKnight invited me to go with her yesterday afternoon to a photo shoot below the falls of the river below the Chattahoochee RiverClub. We walked down the Alabama side and picked our way out on smooth river rocks into the middle of the river bed below the chute nearest that side of the river and watched four experienced whitewater kayakers makes multiple runs down the chute. I shot 300 images of the action and then headed back toward shore. I didn’t want to get caught in a situation where I would need speed to make my way back, so I ambled back toward the west.
About half way, standing at the northernmost outcropping of rock as close to the cascading dam as I could get, I found a great spot to meditate. Standing there in the breeze, under a blue sky, enveloped in the sound of rushing water, I dropped my arms by my sides and gave my face to the sun. I let my mind run on up the road to that place where I’m whole again with a hopeful future. I asked my God for patience to endure the methodical pace of medicine, the forms, the same old questions. I asked my God to heal me. I said another word of thanks for the legion of good people who are standing with me and my family right now. My prayers are humble, but my countenance is drawn.
I turned and walked back to the safety of the sandy shoreline. I’m off the rocks and leaving the rising river behind.
If only that were so……
Gerrit DeWitt says
I’ll also go outside to meditate or pray. I’ll find myself looking up at the sun (eyes closed, of course) when I have something particularly troublesome to ponder. The sunlight warming my face from 93 million miles is always an immediate reassurance. When it seems like my prayers will never be answered, there’s the sun shining steadily on me. It’s still there. It will be there after I’ve passed for others to enjoy. I’m reminded of the scale of the universe, and that God’s answers are given on a higher timescale, which itself is a reassuring thought.
Jim Railey says
Mike, we’re standing in the gap with you. Draw strength from all your friends praying for you. You are not alone. Just remember his word when He said, He will never leave you nor forsake you. He’s going to use you as a testimony to others.
Angela White says
Enjoyed reading this so much, Mike. All of your friends are standing hand in hand across the river and across the miles in prayer for you and your family. Keep reaching up as far as you can and God will reach all the way down. Have a BEAUTIFUL day.
gayla ahlquist says
Mike, You continue to amaze with with your attitude. As a nurse, I know a person’s outlook can have an enormous impact on their well being. You have some great doctors-and friends who rememember you when we are talking to God. I often talk to God in line at Walmart….he is everywhere.
Allison Kennedy Owen says
Mikey, yesterday on my hike here in Tennessee, I said prayers for you and Jill and for what is to come. It was such a pretty day. Leaves all over the place–and some slippery on the ground!–but just a gorgeous few minutes to thank God for you. Will continue. Peace, brother.
Dianne Henry says
Mike and Jill,
I felt so much of what you expressed so beautifully here. I feel it for you here and now. I am praying to our God for you daily and He will be with us in this quest. Stay strong and know how much you are loved, by us mortals and by our Father.
love and Peace,
Dianne and Johnny
roger ashley says
Hey Mike, your pause on the river reminded me “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it”. Happy or sad, healthy or sick, young or old, our God is still the King in charge and each day we have is truly a gift. Praying for you and Jill, hope you have a good meeting at Emory on Friday.
Jane Bayer says
Thinking about you tomorrow . . .
Eddie & Nancy Reis says
So glad you went to the river and found a wonderful place to pray. You can be sure that your prayer will be answered, as will all of the prayers of those of us that are praying for you. Stop by St. Matthews some time and go inside by yourself to pray, you will find it very comforting and peaceful.
Thanks for writing your thoughts and feelings on these pages, you have a wonderful gift of expression and we are all grateful to you for sharing with us.
God’s peace and love
Eddie & Nancy
Eddie & Nancy Reid says
So glad that you went to the river and found a wonderful place to pray. You can be sure that your prayer will be answered as will all the prayers of those of us who are praying for you.
Go to St. Matthews and go inside by yourself and pray, you will find it very comforting and you will feel Gods very presence right there with you.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and emotions and feelings with us on these pages. You have a most wonderful gift of expression.
So many people will be with you tomorrow and you will feel the love.
God’s peace
Eddie & Nancy
Hope Phillips says
We, like so many, are lifting Jill and you in prayer everyday – for strength, for health, and for peace.
Love,
Hope and Scott
Mark Venable says
Mike, I am with you every step of the way. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you approach your appointment at Emory. I love you, cousin.
David Fletcher says
V, reading your words today reminded me of a few lines from poet Dylan Thomas that I will try to paraphrase…”oh, I was young and easy in those lamb white days, but time held me green and dying, thou I sang- in my chains- like the sea… Keep singing V, loud, proud and strong! Love you both,
Fletch
D. Raines Jordan says
Mike and Jill,
Having walked this path before you, I know all to well what y’all are experiencing. The uncertainty of cancer sometimes is almost overwhelming. But there is one thing that is most certain. With the love and support of friends and family, you can handle whatever might be in your path.
I am with you.
Raines