For the past few months I’ve been taking a dose of Ativan at night as I go to bed to help me sleep. As you can imagine, sleep comes hard for a cancer patient. My mind just won’t shut down at night, especially since I don’t have anything I’m excited about reading right now. I recently started watching “Breaking Bad,” the hit AMC television show about a high school chemistry teacher who becomes a methamphetamine cook. Who could possibly go to sleep after watching that!
I’m an idiot. I did some reading on Ativan and it spooked me. These benzodiazepines are extremely addictive and are one of the most abused prescription drugs. Three nights ago I decided that I wanted to stop having to take a sleep aid medication. So, I did. The next day I felt like I was someone else. Edgy and ornery. (I know what you’re thinking. How could I tell?) I hardly slept a wink that night. It was not much better the next night, but last night — ah, last night — I slept like a baby. This was probably a stupid time to try to do this, with all the stress related to the tumors that have invaded my left adrenal gland AND Strainer, my right kidney. The difficulty of the HD-IL2 therapy for which I’ll soon be evaluated is a frightening thing.
I’ve been anxious about the length of time it has taken for the folks at Duke to get back with us, since I was first contacted by Dr. George on August 5 and we’ve been waiting since then. Today, I finally heard from them. I actually got a phone call today to tell me they would call me tomorrow. Looks like I’m on the radar. A blip that is connected to a middle-aged anger ball in Seale, AL. I know my readers have been waiting with me. When we get the call, we’ll be in the car headed for Durham.
Carol Ann says
I hope tomorrow brings you one step closer to Duke and on your way to annailating the cancer once and for all.
Morgan and I continue to add you and Jill to our prayers.
borden says
The waiting is the worst. Hopefully you will get good news from Duke. I just stopped taking my painkiller/ sleeping pill 2 nights ago. While not as strong as Ativan it was a crutch and I have decided no more crutches in my life. Course I only got 4 hours of sleep last night and I am a b**ch
Mrs. Dr. Who says
Why are you giving your body loads of time to spew mets everywhere??? Get the adrenal gland out like last week and have Dr. Jarrell do it. You’re shitting in your own nest..
Betsy Lawrence says
Hope you get quick news and that you continue to sleep!
betsy
Bonita Cantrell says
I’m so very sorry about your problems. I’ll be praying for you.
Wanda Farish says
I’m not sure even Ativan would rest my mind. How I admire you and Jill. Praying for you both every day. You and Jill, Dannie and Teresa Herman are living proof that you can’t understand this kind of strength until you need it.
Margie Ivey says
Thinking about you and hoping things will move faster. Praying….
Robert says
My wife was subjected to high dose IL-2 years back, and you’re right, it is rough. But the results were great in her case. Killed four tumors in her lungs, and apparently also the one in her spine. So it was well worth the roughness.
Best of luck to you.
Dianne Henry says
We are waiting with you. Let us know when you leave skidmarks on your driveway out of Seale.
love and prayers every day,
Di and Johnny
Lloyd and Nell Hudson says
Mike, What great determination, will, and faith you have! Waiting is so hard; hope you’ll be headed to Duke soon to get on the road to complete healing! We are thinking of you and praying for you and Jill every day! Lloyd and Nell
Eddie and Nancy Reid says
We have all been waiting with you to hear something. Read Psalms 40, I think it will help you. So glad you are able to give up the sleep med.
You are constantly in our thoughts and prayers.
Eddie and Nancy
Pat Daniel says
Steve and I still have you in our thoughts and prayers every day. We’re waiting with you to hear what they say whe they call.
Connie Jackson says
Mike & Jill, Good luck and Godspeed. Connie & Gene
Patty Branch says
Mike, We are all anxiously waiting with you. You and Jill are in my thoughts and prayers everyday. I pray that you get to Duke soon. I know that God will give you the strength and grace you need to indure the treatment. I pray that this will wipe out all of these tumors and that you will be totally and completely healed.
Blessings to both of you.
Patty Branch