I’m going to start 2011 making sure that I pay proper tribute to my spectacular wife. 2010 would have been unbearable for me without Jill Tigner. She is simply indescribable, but I’ll try: Astute business person, warrior mother, gentle caregiver, diligent friend, deeply-loving spouse, stunning without makeup, sharp witted, funny as hell, patient and loyal.

This open love letter to Jill is the way I’ve chosen to begin my year in the blogosphere. Of all the things I know, my love for her is thing that I’m the most sure of. If this sappy post causes any rolling eyes or groans from my male readers, I am sorry for you. I am sorry that you don’t have what I have. I’ve told people on numerous occasions that we have a big love. This love is the spot that generates the most pain when I get worried about the return of my cancer and I get rocked back on my heels with concerns about my survival. I can’t bear the thought of leaving her. She is just that precious to me.

The song that you may be listening to right now comes very close to capturing how I feel about my wife, my lover, my friend. Bearing these very personal feelings is as close as I can get to standing naked on the roof of the Aflac building. Trust me, I knew no one would be able to take that spectacle. As I begin this new year, cautiously optimistic about my health, at least I begin by holding the hand of a very special woman to walk with me. I know she is committed to taking every step with me, no matter how rocky the road gets. It is a good feeling.

This song has such special meaning to me. I love you, Jill.

Here are the lyrics:

Are those your eyes?

Is that your smile?

I’ve been looking at your forever, yet I never saw you before.

Are those your hands holding mine?

Now I wonder how I could’ve been so blind.

For the first time I am looking in your eyes, I’m seeing who you are.

I can’t believe how much I see when you’re looking back at me.

Now I understand what love is for the first time.

Can this be real?

Can this be true?

Am I the person I was this morning?

And are you the same you?

It’s all so strange.

How can it be?

All along this love was right in front of me.

Such a long time ago I had given up on finding this emotion ever again.

But you’re right here with me now. Yes, I’ve found you somehow.

And I’ve never been so sure.

And for the first time I am looking in your eyes.

For the first time I’m seeing who you are.

I can’t believe how much I see when you’re looking back at me.

Now I understand what love is for the first time.