I’m so hungry. Like a desperate man roaming in the desert, I’m conjuring perfectly plated dishes of my favorite foods in hallucinatory flashes. Last night I stormed the kitchen. With pure love in my heart, I built a handcrafted fra diavolo sauce. Crushed garlic, San Marzano tomatoes, Vidalia onion, extra virgin olive oil, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes and the tiniest pinch of sugar, simmered just so. Al dente spaghetti noodles bathed in the sauce welcomed my fork, and as I twisted up a steaming bite I recalled the thousand or so other times I’ve had this dish and hoped this one would be no different.

Thankfully, I had only given myself a small portion. My memory will have to do, as the flavor I had expected — in fact, longed for — was cast aside by the shredded, slightly sweet aluminum foil taste that lurks at my every bite. Our Golden Retriever smiled at me. Her taste buds seem just right. In our meeting on Thursday with Dr. Pippas, when we were talking about my experience with Votrient, we discussed the departure of my sense of taste. He chuckled as he said, with my complete understanding and concurrence, that it wouldn’t be all bad if I were to lose 30 or 40 pounds. I get that. Not eating when you can’t taste is turning out to be easier than not eating when your taste is spot on. I’m a half-full glass kind of guy.

Our meeting with Dr. P was good. My labs looks good, especially the creatinine number. It has finally dropped back to very near the baseline that I had prior to the Duke HD-IL2 adventure. Still locked out of HD-IL2 as a treatment option, the door could be open again for CT scans with contrast if I’m in a life-threatening situation and we really need the sharper scan. He has kicked my Votrient dose up a notch to 600mg per day. When my next shipment of the meds arrive, I’ll go to three 200mg pills per day. As my body adjusts to the medication, I’m hopeful that side effects will remain tolerable.

The other news is that I spent parts of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday at West Georgia Eye Care Center. Christmas night I starting seeing flashes in my eyes and developed floaters in my left eye. Two trips to see an ophthalmologist there and then the third day to see retina specialist, Dr. Nicholas Mayfield, to thankfully rule out a retinal tear. I’ve had some bleeding in my eye, but unless something else drastic happens, the floaters should subside (or my brain will adjust so that they aren’t as annoying) and I should be fine. I had a good experience at WGECC and I feel like I received excellent care.

I hope you all had a great Christmas (or whatever else you celebrate at this time of the year) and that 2013 will be a good year for all of us. I could use a good year. What about you?