diarrhea

Life, As I Know It, Is About To Change

When you have a relatively rare disease, the size of your network is of the utmost importance. Renal cell carcinoma is a rare cancer and a top medical oncologist in a community clinic setting like we have here in Columbus might see less than 10 cases of RCC per year. I just hung up from a 20-minute telephone conversation with Dr. Michael Kaehler, an RCC specialist in Munich, Germany who sees over a thousand cases of RCC every year. Dena Battle, president of KCCure, a recently launched national kidney cancer foundation with a goal of promoting research and patient care for those of us with this disease, was able to get Dr. Kaehler to convene a group of neurosurgeons and radiation oncologists in Munich to review my case.

My phone conversation with him this morning was both exciting and terrifying. The most terrifying thing I learned is that this tumor is considerably larger than we had thought. At over 10 centimeters in length, it spans my spine at L1-L3 and it is growing around my spinal nerves. More toward the exciting end of the informational spectrum is finding out that although my back is literally against the wall, there is hope for me. He sees a combination of surgery and Cyberknife (radiation) that can be brought to bear to keep the tumor in check and keep my “tumor burden” in a manageable state over time.

The first order of business for me is that I have to begin taking another TKI (tyrosine kinase inhibitor) drug (oral chemotherapy). I was a strong responder to Votrient, the drug that turned my hair white and caused me to lose 100 pounds, but it also shrunk the tumors in my spine and in my adrenal gland. IF (and this is a big if) Cabozantinib, the new drug I’ll be taking shrinks my spinal tumor, we’ll attempt to keep it at bay by using a combination of surgery and Cyberknife to keep it in check. At some point, if the tumor continues to encroach upon my spinal nerves, then I’ll have to have a surgery called a dorsal vertebrectomy to give my spinal nerves more room through my spinal canal.

Knowing what I know about what life is like while taking a TKI drug, I’m going to eat everything that I love over the next few days, because once the drug takes hold of me, my tongue will be turned into a one-trick pony and will only taste aluminum. Everything from my heavenly lasagne to a big juicy medium rare steak will only have one taste — aluminum. I will be nauseated and will experience diarrhea on a daily basis and it will take every bit of restraint I have to be fun to be around. That is my goal, however, because I believe that my attitude has contributed mightily to the fact that I’m still alive. Attitude, along with a loving God, loyal friends, an incredible family and a mountain of prayers.

The rest of my life, however long it turns out to be, will be a study in divine intervention, medical science and perseverance. The only part of this I can control is the perseverance, and making sure I am able to be seen by doctors who know my condition and have the mad skills to attempt to defeat it, regardless of where in the world we have to go to see them. I don’t know how we’ll afford all of this. We have great insurance, but insurance doesn’t cover trips to Germany, if we end up having to go there. We’ve made it this far, with our small business resources and faith. I don’t expect that to change going forward.

Eight Months

These past eight months have been like heaven on earth. Eight months without vomiting. Eight months without diarrhea. Eight months of razor-sharp taste buds. Eight months of date nights with Jill. Eight months of normalcy. Eight months of cancer on the back burner. Eight months without taking a medication that costs $10,000 per month. Eight months of sunshine without being afraid of burning my skin. Eight months of the occasional taste of beer. Or wine. Or bourbon. Eight months of being able to tell people I’m doing well and eight months to thank them for their continued love and concern. Eight months of being able to work, think and contribute to our publishing company.

July 23 was the day we had a follow up appointment with Dr. Pippas to get the results of the CT scan we had the day before. What had looked like another good, stable scan took a screaming left turn when Dr. P’s eyes took in the slice that showed my left adrenal gland. We both saw the lump at the same time.

Three years ago, a discovery like this would have set me on my ear. But, these last three years have turned me into a tough sonofabitch. Yeah, I got a lump in my throat about the same size as that tumor. Yes, I could feel the dampness in the pits of my arms. Even before I knew what needed to happen next, I knew that when cancer’s in the house, ain’t nothing good comin’ from it.

Then Dr. Pippas did what he does best. He pushed back in his chair and we talked. With a waiting room full of patients, we talked. With treatment rooms full of patients, we talked. He gave Jill and me as much time as we needed to get our heads around the fact that some drugging, some cutting, some irradiating or some other, yet unknown medical torture, was about to visited onto our family in general and onto me specifically. He gave us time to see this new challenge from every angle while we were still in the room with him and able to ask questions of the leader of our medical dream team.

Dr. Pippas said he thought surgery was my best option. “Local disease requires a local treatment. Systemic disease requires systemic treatment,” Andy would always say. So we planned to scan again in five weeks time to see if the tumor was moving fast or hanging back, growing slowly like my disease has pretty much always done. We left his office feeling like a surgery to take out the adrenal gland would be a piece of cake. Probably a robotic, laparoscopic kind of thing that I would get over quickly and get behind me.

I made a decision to consult with Dr. Andy Roddenberry at St. Francis Hospital. He is a young surgeon. Full of promise and not full of himself, which made me instantly like him. I wasn’t real thrilled with what he told me, though. Dr. Roddenberry is a skilled surgeon and after a good bit of discussion, he concluded that if we wanted him to perform the surgery, he would begin the procedure hoping for a minimally invasive operation, but we needed to know the surgery would likely not be able to be completed that way.

There is considerable scar tissue left over from the massive nephrectomy that cost me my left kidney, twelve lymph nodes and a lot of digging around looking for cancer. Additionally, the organs in my body have recognized that there is some stuff missing now that used to be there and they’ve wiggled around and taken up that space in my abdomen. So, scarring, colon, pancreas and a mass of arteries and veins are all congregated in that area, as well as a vascular renal cell tumor that is very much like a 2cm bubble of blood inside the thinnest tissue paper you can imagine. The surgery has been described to me like a person trying to pick up a balloon full of blood with razor sharp pins. One prick of that bubble and I’ve got cancer cells released all over my body and my prognosis suddenly would take a big turn for the worse.

That surgery, if it turned into an open procedure, would land me five to six days in the hospital and would require about a six-week recovery. UGH! I’ve been doing research. Asking questions of people I felt might have answers. We have been fearful of a surgical option because of my weakened immune system. Andy Roddenberry explained the concerns of surgery with a weak immune system better than I have ever heard it explained.

I know this post is getting long, but I’m on a roll now and you can just close your tablet and go to bed if you’re tired of me.

Here’s what Andy Roddenberry said. “Chances are that you have small clumps of cancer cells in other places in your body. Your immune system is standing guard over them and keeping them in check. Then, you get a big 10″ incision across your belly and suddenly those immune system guard cells leave their post and race over to the site of the incision to help your body heal. The cancer cells are left alone and they have the chance to begin to grow unchecked.” That makes a hell of a lot of sense to me. Suddenly, surgery isn’t such an elegant solution to my problem.

A couple of weeks after our meeting with Andy Roddenberry, I got a call from a radiologist friend of mine who suggested that we take a look at microwave ablation as a course of action. We met with a young interventional radiologist at Midtown Medical Center named Dr. Nishant deQuadros. Much like Dr. Roddenberry, Dr. deQuadros took us through our options in a calm, thorough discussion. We left his office feeling good about him and interested in the possibility of a minimally invasive option to remove this tumor.

In the meantime, last Friday I got a phone call from Dr. Pippas. He wanted to discuss our last office visit and his comments about surgery being my best option. After a great deal of thought, he said he wanted me to look at another option than surgery. He felt surgery would be better left as a next step, after a less invasive attempt to remove the lesion.

So, we’ve listened to all of these experts and have come to a decision. We’ve made plans to go the microwave ablation route this coming Thursday, August 28. The plan is for me to spend one day in the hospital and if all goes well, I’ll be back at work on Monday, September 2. I’m nervous, not so much about the procedure, but that this disease might be about to kick it up a notch. I have enjoyed these last eight months and I want to keep living just like that — free.

So, don’t give up on me. Keep the prayers coming and pray that the microwave ablation is a success and that it kills the only remaining disease within my body.

Now, let’s go kick cancer’s ass for the seventh time!

1) nephrectomy, 2) metastasis in spine, 3) radiosurgery in spine, 4) metastasis in spine #2, 5) radiosurgery in spine #2, 6) chemotherapy, 7) microwave ablation

Happy to Report Some Good News

I don’t know quite where to start. So, let’s do the uncharacteristic thing and just get right to the point and maybe that will spare those of you who’re not interested in my usual stories, incessant details and dramatic setups. After all, life is short and sometimes it just makes sense to eat the dessert first — especially if you’re suddenly able to taste it!

This past Thursday afternoon, Jill and I met with Dr. Andy Pippas at the John B. Amos Cancer Center here in Columbus, Ga. The previous week, I had submitted to yet another painless blood draw at the hands of the one of the fabulous phlebotomists in the lab there at JBACC. I was hydrated, also during that week, and had CT scans (with contrast) of my chest, abdomen and pelvis. Just two weeks before that, I met with Dr. Raj Alappan, my nephrologist. The point is that I had fresh labs, scans and updated reporting from the person who is helping us watch over Strainer, my only remaining kidney. All of my systems have been checked and the news we got on Thursday was current and as accurate as modern medicine can make it.

Dr. Pippas gave us the news that we’ve been hoping to hear after living through 15 months of raging hell. “Mike, at this moment you are cancer free.”

He said it, despite the fact you’ll not hear me say it. I prefer NED, no evidence of disease. Not sure why, other than NED seems less provocative. A little more humble as I stand in front of the open curtain staring up at the feet of the “All Powerful Cancer,” complete with flashing lights and smoke. I’m sure as hell not the Cowardly Lion. Despite my fears, I have not been any kind of a coward through this thing. But I’m a little superstitious and just not a fan of appearing too cocky in the presence of something that has the power to kill me or strike me down.

All that said, I appear to have been hugely and wonderfully responsive to Votrient, the powerful tyrosine kinase inhibitor drug I have been taking for the past 15 months. My adrenal tumor is gone. The apparent tumors in my right kidney are gone. The tumors in my spine are gone. I have no tumors in my lungs or in my brain (the places kidney cancer cells love to invade).

Looks like the loss of a hundred pounds, the loss of the cuticles around my fingernails, the loss of ALL the pigmentation in my body hair, the chronic daily diarrhea, the almost daily vomiting, the maddening itching of my skin, the inability to taste food, the ever-present brain fog and some peripheral neuropathy in my feet were all worth enduring to get the news we got from Dr. Pippas on Thursday. We are thrilled at this wonderful news and extremely grateful to our medical team, our prayer warriors, our friends, our church family, our family and all the legions of people who are concerned about us and who have found so many ways to let us know that they care. This is epic good news!

I asked Dr. Pippas, “What do we do now?” “The good news is you’ve got a couple of options,” he said. (This may get a little tedious, but this blog is about what it is like to LIVE with cancer, so I’m going to take some time to let you into my thought process. You’re welcome to read as much as you can stand.) Here are my options: Since I am now almost at a month off Votrient, we can go back on a “maintenance” dose of 200mg daily to try to extend the reprieve from actively growing cancer. That isn’t a great option, because as I tapered off the drug back in January, I was actually as sick on the 200mg dose as I had been on the full 800mg dosage. Why would I want to do that? Well, I don’t.

The next option is that I can stay off the Votrient and be extra vigilant with CT scans every three months for up to a year and reevaluate again at the end of the year. This is a better option, because the prevailing wisdom (although this wisdom is only anecdotal, as there isn’t any real data to support it) is that for people like me who are excellent responders to the medication, there is every reason to believe we’ll respond just as strongly when and if the medicine is restarted. Andy strongly cautioned me about a couple of things if we choose this option. Although my taste buds have blissfully re-awakened, I have to keep my weight down. My daily routine needs to embrace a spartan diet, mostly vegetarian, with an occasional splurge to keep from going crazy. He wants me to keep my weight at or near where it is today. He also wants me to add back as much exercise as I can stand. Bike riding is a definite. I also need to be lifting some light weights and walking. I’ll need to get myself motivated to get this done. Plus, I’m still really weak from the pounding my body has taken over the past 15 months.

Dr. Pippas is in communication with our medical oncologist at Duke, Dr. Dan George, who is familiar with my case. I’m also making contact with Dr. Hans Hammers (through a friend) at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore who is a world-class kidney cancer specialist. When we get those pieces of feedback, we’ll sit down with Dr. Pippas and make up our minds about what we want to do. My guess is that we’ll likely choose the second option and stay off the Votrient and remain hyper-vigilant going forward and hope and pray the cancer will leave me the hell alone.

I feel like a new man right now. I feel my strength coming back. Next time you see me, take a look at my eyebrows. My hair is beginning the process of growing back in with color. If I get to stay off the drug, the pigment will come back into my hair and it will grow back in some darker shade. Maybe it will be straighter, or curlier. We don’t really know what to expect. I’m just happy to begin to see some hope that my daily prayers of being able to get old with my Jill, see our sons find love and hold a grandchild or ten are looking better. Thanks be to God!

Thanks to all of you who are following our progress. If you know of anyone who is struggling with cancer, especially with a kidney cancer diagnosis, please forward a link to this blog to them. Those of us who are living with cancer need to see that the news doesn’t always have to be bad. Although, it damn sure feels like it sometime.

Have to Stop Taking Votrient

“In an essay titled “A View From the Front Line,” Jencks described her experience with cancer as like being woken up mid-flight on a jumbo jet and then thrown out with a parachute into a foreign landscape without a map:

“There you are, the future patient, quietly progressing with other passengers toward a distant destination when, astonishingly (Why me?) a large hole opens in the floor next to you. People in white coats appear, help you into a parachute and — no time to think — out you go.

“You descend. You hit the ground…But where is the enemy? What is the enemy? What is it up to?…No road. No compass. No map. No training. Is there something you should know and don’t?

“The white coats are far, far away, strapping others into their parachutes. Occasionally they wave but, even if you ask them, they don’t know the answers. They are up there in the jumbo, involved with parachutes, not map-making.”
Siddhartha Mukherjee, The Emperor of All Maladies

I had a meeting with my favorite white coat, Dr. Andy Pippas, yesterday afternoon. After a couple of times waking up from a sound sleep with a splitting headache and the sensation that I’m seeing my blood pulsing in my field of vision and the steady, precipitous dropping of my weight — I realized I might have a problem. The results of my weigh in this morning showed I have now officially lost 100 pounds. Vomiting has become an almost daily occurrence. My cancer drug, Votrient, is whittling the list of foods I can eat down like a runaway buzz saw. The most pressing issue is that my blood pressure has decided to hop onto the front car of the roller coaster and it is click, click, clicking upward. WTF!

My white coat pointed his finger at me.

He really didn’t, but that steady, Greek (……a guess) gaze through those ultra cool glasses Dr. Pippas wears as he said, “Mike, you’ve got to stop taking Votrient immediately. You need to stop for two weeks, beginning today. Your body needs to reset. Then we’ll see.” He went on to tell me that most who take this drug get about six or seven months of a reprieve from their marching kidney cancer. I have been taking the drug for almost 15 months and my body is telling me that it needs a break.

Think: 2″ thick USDA prime ribeye steak.

I did. Almost my very first thought.

My last scans were clear. The adrenal tumor is gone. But, the ground that has been gained has been paid for with muscle tissue, nausea and fatigue.

Jill is a stunning soldier and I love her.

That was six days ago. I have discontinued taking the Votrient, despite it keeping me alive and despite the fact that the medication has shrunk my adrenal gland tumor completely! Don’t think I am doing this without some extreme concern. It isn’t easy to ignore a medication that didn’t “bring me to the dance,” but damn sure has kept me alive and healthy enough to be at the dance within earshot of the jukebox! So, yes, I am beginning to feel better. Yes, I am throwing up less and diarrhea is less of an issue than it was a little over a week ago. But, at what cost? Am I opening the door for the cancer to rekindle and mount another assault on my body? Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer to these questions and neither does anyone else. So, we’re going to mind my favorite white coat and lay off the Votrient for a total of two weeks. Then I’ll be back in Dr. Pippas’ office asking some questions about what we do next.

Meanwhile, I still can’t fathom eating that steak. I still can’t eat much of anything and according to my friends, “I’m the perfect look for that guy in a Viagra commercial.” I’m thin, I’m white haired and doggone it, I must look like I suffer from erectile dysfunction and already exploring what are risks of using a penis pump on myself.

Drug Side Effects Still Taking a Toll

On the surface it seems we have been successful in relegating my case of stage IV renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer) into acting like a chronic disease. Something like diabetes. Something you can live with and keep at bay with medication. It doesn’t appear to be actively trying to snuff me out and thankfully it also appears that the oral chemotherapy I’m taking daily, although it is making me very nauseated and giving me constant diarrhea, has done a number on at least two tumors on my left adrenal gland. The tumors are gone!

Jill and I met with Dr. Andy Pippas yesterday morning. Except for a slightly elevated billirubin count, my lab work is exceptional. The higher than normal billirubin is a direct result of my taking the Votrient, which is an oral chemotherapy drug called a tyrosine kinase inhibitor. Our discussion with Dr. Pippas went toward the shocking weight loss I’ve experienced — now almost 100 pounds! He looked at my chart and proclaimed that I’d lost about 10 more pounds since I last saw him just 4 weeks ago. He is concerned, as are we, that I’m really starting to lose muscle mass and tone.

We talked about my nausea a lot during this visit, I guess because it has gotten worse over the past month. I am really having a difficult time eating almost everything EXCEPT Vietnamese food. I’m surviving on a dish at Uptown Vietnam Cuisine called hu thieu, which is a pork broth based soup, similar to pho (pronounced /f ?/). It fills me up. It makes it happy and it is a very healthy dish, according to Beth Bussey, my nutritionist. Other than that meal, I am finding it very difficult to eat a single other thing without feeling nauseated. For a former fat foodie, this is really quite difficult to take.

Dr. Pippas prescribed a timed-release patch containing a drug called ondansetron (trade name Zofran), and the idea was for it to provide me with a constant infusion of the drug for a solid week and keep my nausea at bay. I applied the patch yesterday afternoon and so far, I have been nauseated almost every waking moment. I’m not sure if I’m experiencing a “breaking in” period or whether there is something else going on, but I’m at the edge of a dry heave all the time. So far, today hasn’t been much fun.

Dr. Pippas also told me about another product which is a wristband that gently stimulates the median nerve in the wrist and signals the “vomit center” in the brain not to fire. Who knew the brain had a vomit center? I am doing some research on that product now and may add it to my anti-nausea regime to see if we can get me back to a better place.

So, all things considered, I am in a pretty good position right now for someone with stage IV cancer. I’m not in immediate danger of dying. I’m able to enjoy my family and friends. And, even though I have a real intimate relationship with my toilet, I can enjoy and fairly respectable amount of good time during a day. As I see it, things could be a lot worse. If this is all there is, I’m happy to have it.

The other news is that I’m feeling like I might be able to write again and I hope that will translate into my being more communicative in this blog. Time will tell. In the meantime, I hope you have a fabulous Christmas with your family and friends. If you celebrate other holidays at this time of the year, I hope yours is a great one! For all my brother and sister cancer sufferers out there, hang on, there’s a better year coming.