I’ve been quiet here since August. I know you’ve noticed.
I need to talk and I hope you’ll listen.
We’re at the end of another holiday season “they” said I wouldn’t get, another birthday just passed they said I’d never see. These moments would have knocked me down when I was a cancer boy. When I toddled through the early days — a wobbly-legged cancer foal — one of these big, important days would come around and I’d fairly spend the day all weepy, with a mind that just wouldn’t stand up on its own. I drew such incredible strength then, as I do today, from Jill’s touch, from the ever-present and ever-strong cloud of witnesses who have walked with us every step of the way. As I look at my reflection today, I am strong in ways and in places where I didn’t even know I had a place.
Strength is good. Especially now.
When cancer comes for you, you have to grab everything you can carry, throw on some clothes and snatch your go bag off the table as you fly out the door. You’ve gotta be light on your feet. Being a cancer patient is a full-time job. It requires study. Although I understand that some patients don’t want to have an opinion about their condition or care, it is my deep conviction that only a fool would relegate 100% of the responsibility for their condition and care to any single other person, even a well-trained doctor. To have a shot at surviving, a patient must be proficient in math, be a good negotiator, be organized and be able to speak insurance. You also need a patient, loving mate and a faith family.
What you need more than anything else is a keen sense of your own body, a strong curiosity about science and medicine and a snarling — almost rabid — ferocity to live.
I recently lost a friend who possessed every one of the qualities of a stellar cancer patient, but who still lost her fight. To know that you can be in the game, in as good shape as possible, rested, nourished, aware and yet still have something unforeseen take you down, that, ladies and gentlemen is a solid testimony for living every day like you are dying.
We leave in a few days on another medical vacation because I’m one of the lucky ones. One of the very lucky few kidney cancer patients who has cobbled together a way to “live” with it. In a recent visit with Dr. Andy Pippas, we talked about all the decisions we’ve made together. About how hard some of them were, and about how fortunate we’ve been to have made mostly the right calls over this almost nine years of living with cancer.
I have an astonishing network. Astonishing because of the wonder, through social media and new technology, of having so many robust relationships with people who I have never met face to face. The physician Jill and I are going out to M. D. Anderson Cancer Center to meet was chosen for our case by an angel doctor who took an interest in us. Professor Dr. Michael Staehler has never met me, yet he’s reviewed my entire medical history with RCC and has discussed my case with with Dr. Lawrence Rhines at M. D. Anderson Cancer Center. Dr. Staehler runs one of the world’s premiere kidney cancer clinics in Munich, Germany and he took an interest in my case because one of our kidney cancer mentors asked him to help us.
We are hopeful that Cabometyx has shrunk the tumor in my spine enough to allow a skilled neurosurgical team to remove the tumor and repair the damage caused by kidney cancer. It is my most prayerful hope that we’ll get this kind of feedback from Dr. Rhines, after he has a chance to meet me, and review whatever tests he feels he needs to make an educated diagnosis of the situation.
If you’ve been a follower of this blog, you know that in times of trouble I write to help get myself through it. So, with trouble ahead they’ll likely be a few thousand words to go along with it. I ask that you also continue to pray for all of your friends, and not just those of us with a dangerous illness. Part of the reason I write is to give folks a glimpse of what it is like to have to negotiate the dark waters of a cancer diagnosis. I hope that you’ve also been able to see the beauty that lies in the clear fact that if you’re open to love and a connection with your fellow life travelers, almost indescribable joy usually follows the pain. I’ve found that when I focus too much on the pain, the joy passes me by.
I have an MRI scan scheduled for 6:15 p.m. CST on Wednesday and we meet with Dr. Rhines on 1/11 at 11 a.m. Depending on what we hear, we’ll at least have a solid idea about how effectively I’m responding to Cabo and whether we’re still on a good track to mitigate this issues in my spine.
One of the attributes of a good cancer patient is a chameleon-like ability to remake yourself each time your physical being forces you to become something different. I am unable to do anything physical right now, so I have spent the past eight months learning how to trade stock options.
I have found a local teacher, someone who has taught me how to read stock charts, about the Fibonacci sequence and how it relates to stock price fluctuations, about how to establish my own trading rules and follow them and how to utilize the stocks that Jill and I already have in our Roth and traditional IRAs to, with relatively low risk buy and sell puts and calls to make additional income as we near retirement.
I’m not going to say much more about stock options right now but trust me, there is much, much more coming from me on this topic. There is a limit on how much of your assets you can place into your Individual Retirement Account each year. But there is no limit on how much you can earn on the money you’ve put there. I have found a better way to grow that money in our lives. And, because only a tiny percentage of the people I’ve engaged in conversation about this subject during the past eight months knew anything about it, I’m going to make it my mission over the near future to make sure everyone within the sound of my voice and who is interested, gets a good, solid education on what surely must be one of the financial world’s most closely-guarded skill sets.
If you think you’re going to be interested in hearing more about how to trade stock options to generate additional income go ahead and pick up a copy of the book, “Understanding Options,” by Michael Sincere and read it. I was asked to read the book before I attended a two-day weekend training class here in Columbus to learn the basics of options trading. Prepare to be challenged, and intellectually stimulated!
All I can say is that you are one remarkable person and I understand that that is due to a whole host of medical, personal, faith, and family members who have come along side you on this journey, Jill being the primary traveler who has been your strength and supporter. I continue to pray and beseech the Lord to lift you up and guide your medical team as you go forward.
Thank you for sharing some of the details of this journey. You have touched many lives by your willingness to openly share. You have touched many lives and we have grown. May God continue to give you and Jill continues strength and wisdom as y’all continue to move forward.
My prayers go with you and Jill. I know you are strong and courageous. Dr. Rhines will love you both!
We are praying for you!!! If you need a break from everything Words with Friends!, my friend! We love you and Jill!
Mikey, as always, you go with our full support and love and prayers, and the promise of another visit to the GBE in the near future!
Xxoo Allison
Oops. BGE. Darn dyslexia
I like Green Big Eggs, too.
LOL! That’s the first thing I thought of too. Always here for you. God speed!
You and Jill amaze me with your intellect, your tenacity, your gumption, your curiosity, your hunger for knowledge, your relentless faith, your devotion to each other and to others. Prayers for the journey.
So many prayers go West with you two! I’m awed by the person you’ve become. (Even if I admit my eyes glazed over a bit five minutes into your Stock Option Testimonial. Truly, it’s not you; it’s me.) I’m expecting good news! And if it’s not what you want, then you’ll McGuyver some kind of workaround and keep going. I’m for you, friend!
We are with you and Jill as you meet your upcoming tests and results. It was good to catch a quick glance of you when you were recently in Duluth.
Beautiful post. You even got me emotional about stock options.
Will keep you and Jill in my heart on your journey to Texas. Watch out, Cowtown!
Praying daily for you to get the desired results.
Love reading your blogs! The reflect a much of what we go through at times, keep me looking up and walking straight. You and your family are in my prayers. All good things in this New Year.
Kathleen
Mike, seriously I was thinking as I saw it was your birthday that the hand of God was truly on you. Prayers always for you. You are a source of strength and encouragement to all who know and read you whether they have cancer or not. Godspeed!
Maybe there’s something to learn about financial puts and calls but when it comes to the “Puts and Calls” of life no one is better than you!
Continuing to pray for you.
Mike,
You and Jill have this trip covered! You are one smart man (which I have always known) and a wonderful inspiration for all. Prayers always for you and Jill! Forge on and know we all are with you in prayer.
Keep the stock info coming!
Old friend, and I do not mean age. We have known each other since kindergarten. I haven’t followed your blogs closely but aware of the struggle you are going through. Cancer is a scary thing and for the most part unknown. How and why it chooses you is a mystery to me. Rickey has been cancer free for about 11years now and I still remember the days when I didn’t think he would get thru the treatments. As for me, I didn’t know if i would either. One man’s cancer is never the same for the other, so I have no idea the fear or pain that you are going thru. But I do know that you have friends, family and God looking out for you. I pray for you and Jill, for she is going thru it also. Not physically but mentally. I went thru every feeling Rickey had. I cried for him when he was not watching and held him when he was sick. He looks at life a little different now. May God stay on your shoulder and be with you and Jill every step of the way.
It was great to read yet another inspirational post. We’re praying for you Mike. Thank you for showing us the way forward!
Mike, you and Jill are strong and Cancer is tough. Praying your experience at MD Anderson is a good and easy one. It’s a large hospital but we found everyone was friendly and someone was always asking can we help you. Your faith and the strength you gain from each other will make your stay easier. My heart goes out to both of you and know you both are loved by many.
Mike I so blessed to count you and Jill as my friends. You truly live the words you speak. You know I am praying for you and if necessary I will help throw rocks. Love you both.
God bless you abundantly, Mke, and give you a healing journey, and a voice to help others as well.
I am following you, hoping for some guidance in my own struggle, not knowing where to turn at present. I have had a painful setback. I have permanent nerve damage caused by my spine surgery at Emory, and a non malignant spinal tumor. Advised by Mayo to do no further procedures, however, I am worse and can’t use my right side. Pain is a constant companion, sort of like my precious little dog, Bula, who guards me and comforts me.
Jill is a saint, as is my husband, Patrick Deatherage. Together, you can walk through this fire. May the Holy Spirit be your guide. You have an army of prayer warriors, and I am one.
I pray that I get to hear you talk for many years!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and strength with us. God speed and safe travels! We are praying for you and Jill!!
I sit here in awe, amazed at the person you are, amazed at how you have taken the ugliest experience a man can know and turned it into an experience shared in a way that others feel they need to make their relatively untroubled life count. You make me want to make my life count as much as you do yours.You have encouraged others more than we have you!
One thing I know, God loves you very much. We Will continue to pray that He will bless you and Jill in every way.
Love you both.
Thank you Mike for sharing. You are an interesting guy and an inspiration ! And yes, you have a wonderful wife. Good luck out in Houston and God Bless !
Andy and I were just talking about you and how we had not heard from you for quite sometime and bingo…there was your post! It was so good to read this post and know what is coming next for you and Jill so we can be specific in our prayers. As I have said before you are both brave and courageous and know that we continue to be on this journey with you, if only in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless each and every step.
Love, Barbara Marks
Joshua 1:9 Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Mike, we are, as always, in your corner rooting for you like crazy! May you hear only great news! Safe travels for you & Jill! Love & BIG hugs from Judy & Ruben
PS…Jenna said “You got this!”
We are still with you sweet friend. Our unending prayers, our love and our support. Thanks for sharing.
Praying for you my friends! Thank you for posting.
Mike, thank you for sharing this update in your blog. Fletcher and I share a Morning Prayer service every morning and you are always part of our prayers. Praying that that every test, every procedure, every technician, every nurse, every physician, every treatment, everything and everyone that is part of your next step in Houston will be used for your healing and well-being and for the glory of God. May you be surrounded by saints and angels in Heaven and on Earth. Our love to Jill. You are not alone and you are much beloved. I do not believe we meet or connect with anyone by accident, and I trust that we were meant to be back in touch with Jill and subsequently to meet YOU! Blessings and peace.
Prayers for you and Jill. Having known you both back some 20 plus years to the days of the Phenix Citizen. I have watched in awe and wonder the amazing things you have done and accomplished and I know you will continue to do so!!! Cheering for you as your biggest fan and I know you will conquer this too!!!
Go with God, our dear friends. Rest on a bed of prayers. Bob and I send our best.
You remain on our prayer list. Ken and I both have admired your strength and compassion through this. You have certainly become a beacon for more people than you can ever imagine. Much love to you and Jill.
Cheering for you from Savannah. As always, your words inspire.
We’ll be watching to hear from this new adventure.
Love you, Mike.
Mike,
Our prayers go with you as you on your trip to MD Anderson. Not doubt this physician is one of the premier oncologists in his field. I hope and pray you receive the answers you are faithfully waiting to hear. Your comments are always very inspirational to me personally and I enjoy reading and sharing them with my family and friends.
Concerning your advice on financial strategies, please share away.:) I always appreciate any good direction in that department. I often have discussions with my 12 year old daughter about the importance of understanding financial responsibility and your personal relationship to the money you earn. When I was growing up, parents didn’t share that type of information. I take the opposite approach so she won’t be blindsided by the challenges of money management.
I wish you well and may God bless you and Jill on your continued journey.