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The Day My Tears Came Back

In an effort to continue to drop digital insight (for my brothers and sisters in the kidney cancer club) about my methodical return from the pits of hell, there is more to report. All of it is good. We spent a nice, long doctor visit yesterday with Dr. Raj Alappan, my nephrologist. Strainer (for those who don’t know, my remaining kidney, which was named in an online contest on my blog) continues to improve. All my numbers relating to GFR, glomerular filtration rate; creatinine; blood pressure; A1C and all other issues with Strainer are either stable, improved or in the case of one important indicator, dramatically improved. Those visits with doctors to receive results from labs, scans or tests are full of tension that just takes a while to slough off.

Yesterday was a good day.

A little over a month ago, I mentioned that I intended to wean myself off the 20mg of Celexa I have been taking daily for almost six years. So it began — I took 10mg for two weeks and 5mg for two weeks and I was free of any daily dose six days ago. I can testify about newly-found clarity, sharpening senses, a greater enjoyment of my work and the ability to feel, without those feelings being filtered through a Celexa scrim.

The returning ability to take a full-frontal emotion head-on was tested today. I continue to get comments every day about my blog post “Sad Display of Bullying at Last Night’s MCSD Board Meeting.” During my conversation with every single one of these folks, I have asked them if they’ve ever been bullied. The ones who have, get a certain look in their eye. The become smaller. They still feel the sting of the encounter, even if it happened a long time ago. Even if it happened in 1958 in the bathroom of East Highlands Elementary School. I grew up on 20th Street, in East Highlands, until my maternal grandparents were both killed in a car crash near Chattsworth, Ga. My family moved into their home on Britt David Road, in front of the Columbus Metropolitan Airport, where my parents still live.

I will never forget the sound of that door being slammed open against the wall and how  my kindergarten five-year-old self felt when I was confronted by a covey of sweaty sixth graders. They pushed me around. They threatened me. They frightened me. My recollection of the incident included somehow having my mom come to school to discuss what I had been through. She’ll likely weigh in on her remembrance, if that story was even worthy of being remembered. Telling the story now makes me sound like a little sniveling wimp but I won’t forget it as long as I have a memory.

An aside: Monday, September 14 at 6 p.m. will be the next regularly scheduled MCSD board meeting. That will be a great opportunity for you to go to a board meeting and show your support for our board, Superintendent Dr. David Lewis, his cabinet and all the educators and employees of our public school system. 

Today at my Wednesday Rotary Club of Columbus meeting, the Muscogee Educational Excellence Foundation (MEEF) Teacher of the Year Sheryl Green was our speaker. Her well-written, emotional, powerfully delivered speech was one of the best Rotary speeches of my 18 years of Rotary. Most of the people at my table wiped up tears, as Sheryl talked about her Jordan High School misfit soccer team. Her stories were tear jerkers, full of the love of a great educator and broken, hard young students, many of whom didn’t hear the words, “I love you.” Ever.

Except when their coach look them in their eyes and told them just that. “I love you.” Some responded and others turned a deaf ear because they weren’t taught how to hear and accept those words.

I didn’t know what to do about myself with tears coming out of all four corners of my eyes. If you get the chance to hear or read Sheryl Green (she has a column every Wednesday in the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer), run toward her. She has a powerful story to tell and she is damn good at telling it.

Back at the office after Rotary, I took a look at my Facebook account and saw a request for prayers for Shannon Burgess, the daughter of a childhood friend of mine, Linda Parks Smith. Shannon is out at M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Tex. in the fight of her life. I touched my keyboard and felt the tears flow for the second time today. I wanted Linda and Shannon to know that I was sending my love to them as only a survivor can experience and give. Something about talking to others in a cancer fight makes my memories rise up. I feel so connected to them and so many others who are in all the stages of cancer from recently-diagnosed to tough battle scarred cancer veterans. Sliding back into a conversation that dredged up some of the bad times was a deeply emotional experience for me today. Please remember Shannon and Linda and their families in your prayers. They need them right now.

The tears got next to me. Enough to wonder if I’m emotionally stable enough to do without the medicine. I suspect all cancer survivors are left with their own demons to deal with. Mine were a healthy depth from the surface, in light of the exceedingly tender subjects that I have been a part of seeing, hearing and experiencing today.

Today was a good day.

 

September 2, 2015 | Tagged With: A1C, blood pressure, bullying, Celexa, creatinine, Dr. David Lewis, Dr. Raj Alappan, GFR, glomerular filtration rate, Houston TX, Jill Tigner, Jordan High School, kidney cancer, Linda Parks Smith, M. D. Anderson Cancer Center, MCSD, Muscogee County School District, Muscogee Educational Excellence Foundation, Rotary Club of Columbus, Shannon Burgess, Sheryl Green, Strainer| Filed Under: Uncategorized | 10 Comments

Sad Display of Bullying at Last Night’s MCSD Board Meeting

I live in Alabama and I don’t have any children in Columbus public schools. Two of our sons, Michael and Adam, graduated from Hardaway High School, so there’s that. In spite of literally not having a dog in that fight, I remain intensely interested in the health and effectiveness of our Muscogee County School District, because great schools train great future employees and leaders, both being mighty important to our region’s economic development.

After putting my news nose into the wind yesterday, I had a feeling that last night’s Muscogee County School District meeting might be one for the record books, and that I probably should attend and see for myself what I have heard others say about the tone of the meetings.

Jill and I went to the meeting last night. It was my first MCSD school board meeting. I hope that many more of you, whether you have children in the public schools or not, will go and watch that process some time soon.

Jill and I each said one word several times last night on the drive back to Seale and even after we were in bed. “Wow!”

Just “Wow.”

Wow, I can’t believe what I saw and heard there.

“Wow.”

Wow, I can’t believe Frank Myers referred to Superintendent Dr. David Lewis and Chief Operations and Facilities Officer David Goldberg as “You two birds.”

Wow.

How Frank Myers called David Lewis a liar. Out loud — with TV cameras rolling, in spite of the sweet presentation on RESPECT delivered by four children from a local elementary school.

How Myers finger-pointed and ranted about how he was “sick and tired” of this, that and the other and threateningly engaged other members of the board and the MCSD cabinet and then immediately began Facebook postings, writing or shuffling papers, very obviously not caring to hear what the person he was dogging had to say in reply.

A strong memory from my childhood is how I felt when I went to church as a little guy. I knew I was going to leave that church every Sunday feeling depressed. Just down. I went into each Sunday morning session knowing that I was going to be beaten down. I knew I would leave feeling smaller than I did when I walked in. It was such a bad experience that, to this day, I almost get sick to my stomach when I pass by my old church building on Hamilton Road.

That is exactly how I felt as the meeting last night opened with four precious children from Allen Elementary School talking about the efforts they make in their lives to treat others with respect. It was so cute that they held up the letters R-A-O-S (just a slight, old-school technical glitch), and talked about how they SOAR when they treat their classmates with respect. There was no more respect shown from the right side of that dais for the next more than three hours.

Here’s the other thing: Jill and I have gotten to know Karen and David Lewis. They are really fine people. We’ve had dinners with them and have found out just how much they love our community. They’re planning to retire here. The other thing I learned from them is how shocked they are that there is so much anger aimed at our local school board and administration. I really don’t think they’ve ever seen anything like what is going on here.

Beyond the friendship, David Lewis has got the passion, the knowledge and the personality to take our schools to the next level. He deserves the respect of a grateful community. He does not deserve to be called a liar in a public meeting in front of his wife, his cabinet, his board and his employees.

Frank Myers is a schoolyard bully. He’s a tall, imposing guy and his lawyer swagger just accentuates the bluster. Everyone in the room with a bully is wary of him. What is he going to say or do next? When will he point that finger at me about something else he’s “sick and tired” of?

We live in the Deep South, where people are a whole lot of different things, but what we are most is kind. We are genteel. We usually treat even our worst enemy with kindness and respect. Not so at the Muscogee County School Board. Not so when big, bad Frank is in the room.

There was joy in that room last night. People brought their families to see the votes that honored their loved ones with a promotion or a new job. That joy was short-lived as we all dived back into the sludge that was our county’s school board meeting last night.

You know the feeling when you’re walking at night along a stretch of unfamiliar road in a strange town? That feeling like something bad could happen and catch you by surprise? That is exactly what that meeting felt like last night and I am profoundly sad that it has to be that way.

From what I saw and what I have read, Frank Myers wants David Lewis to go back to Florida. My clear sense also tells me that Myers, if he’s allowed to keep his seat on the board, will think exactly the same thing about the next superintendent.

That’s exactly the way all bullies act — until they get the final, verbal ass whipping they deserve. Stirring up people’s feelings just because you like to do it is no excuse for the embarrassing show that Frank Myers put on last night. I think it is safe to say the palpable tension was unhealthy for every person who was in that room.

Hoping it will get better may be too much to ask for, unless Myers’ cavalier attitude about the rules, finds him on the wrong side of one of them and an angry citizenry decides to recall him from office. I think this is a great example of how someone’s passion about something diminishes his ability to act in a civil manner. My momma wouldn’t have put up with it. I’m thinking Frank Myers, like brilliant singer/songwriter Jason Isbell in his song If it Takes a Lifetime says, has “got too far from his raising.”

 

August 18, 2015 | Tagged With: Adam Venable, Alabama, Allen Elementary School, bullying, David Goldberg, David Lewis, Deep South, Frank Myers, Hardaway High School, Jason Isbell, Jill Tigner, Karen Lewis, Michael Venable, Muscogee County School District, recall election| Filed Under: Uncategorized | 31 Comments

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