For the past few months I’ve been taking a dose of Ativan at night as I go to bed to help me sleep. As you can imagine, sleep comes hard for a cancer patient. My mind just won’t shut down at night, especially since I don’t have anything I’m excited about reading right now. I recently started watching “Breaking Bad,” the hit AMC television show about a high school chemistry teacher who becomes a methamphetamine cook. Who could possibly go to sleep after watching that!

I’m an idiot. I did some reading on Ativan and it spooked me. These benzodiazepines are extremely addictive and are one of the most abused prescription drugs. Three nights ago I decided that I wanted to stop having to take a sleep aid medication. So, I did. The next day I felt like I was someone else. Edgy and ornery. (I know what you’re thinking. How could I tell?) I hardly slept a wink that night. It was not much better the next night, but last night — ah, last night — I slept like a baby. This was probably a stupid time to try to do this, with all the stress related to the tumors that have invaded my left adrenal gland AND Strainer, my right kidney. The difficulty of the HD-IL2 therapy for which I’ll soon be evaluated is a frightening thing.

I’ve been anxious about the length of time it has taken for the folks at Duke to get back with us, since I was first contacted by Dr. George on August 5 and we’ve been waiting since then. Today, I finally heard from them. I actually got a phone call today to tell me they would call me tomorrow. Looks like I’m on the radar. A blip that is connected to a middle-aged anger ball in Seale, AL. I know my readers have been waiting with me. When we get the call, we’ll be in the car headed for Durham.