Friday is the day Dr. Pippas does his administrative work. I don’t know how the man gets everything he has to do…done, even with a Friday to tie up loose ends. Since Friday is his paperwork/research day, I was hoping he’d be able to sandwich in a phone conversation with me about our trip to Durham, NC to see Dr. George.
He returned my call within minutes and I told him Jill and I had heard what nurse friend Sandy Gunnels called a “diametrically opposite” plan of action from the one I had heard from Dr. Janice Dutcher on our visit to see her in New York City. Renowned renal cell specialist, Dr. Dutcher says that HDIL-2 (high-dose interleukin 2) is our next-best course of treatment.
Renowned renal cell specialist Dr. George, at Duke University Hospital, says HDIL-2 is way down the list of things he’d recommend we do right now. Dr. George was emphatic: “HDIL-2 will not keep this cancer from returning if that is what it wants to do. If you don’t have disease anywhere other than your spine, and if it returns there, you have a better chance of controlling it with a TKI (tyrosine kinase inhibitor). Hands down,” said Dr. George.
Dr. George continued: “HDIL-2 could kill you. It could create a cardiac event. Those things are rare, but possible. What it will do is ravage your body, potentially causing organ damage and positively causing great suffering.” Basically, he doesn’t see any value right now in putting us through this toxic treatment.
As Jill and I sat there and as I realized where our conversation with Dr. George was going, I felt the air leaving my body. The palpable let down of a fight reflex when your attacker has either stood down or walked away. There was an immediate transformation in me from fighter to waiter, and not the kind of waiter that gets a tip for good service. The kind of waiter that sits at a bus stop on a graffiti-covered bench in the cold, waiting for the next mode of transformation (intentional use of wrong word) to move you toward a tangible cancer therapy.
I’m like the old bull in one of my favorite old jokes and the vulture on a great T-shirt: A young bull and an old bull were standing on a hillside looking over a valley pasture of grazing cows. Young bull says to the old bull, “Why don’t we run down the hill and screw one of those cows?” The old bull says, “Why don’t we walk down there and screw all of them.” The vulture on the T-shirt is standing on a limb, high up in a tree, looking extremely vulturish. The caption says, “Patience, my ass, I want to kill something!”
I want a plan. I want it to be as aggressive as I am. I don’t see myself being comfortable waiting. As I said in my last post, I’m locked in a perpetual state of advent.
The really good news is that Drs. Goldman, Gorum and Cabelka and a host of other physicists, pharmacists, physicians, nurses and techs have done great work for me. The tumor is my spine is gone. There is nothing visible anywhere in my body that makes my medical team concerned that my life is being threatened. I can hear you saying, “why don’t you just quit your bitching, go back to your life and be happy you don’t have to take these awful drugs!” The answer to that is, “I know this cancer WAY better than you do. I now how sneaky it can be and I know how quickly it can make you dead if it decides to light up and run.” This knowledge is what makes me restless.
I have talked to Dr. Pippas about a third opinion — a “tie-breaker.” We’re discussing that now and I told Dr. P that I think this next opinion should be made without me in the room. I want to send my records to another RCC specialist and have them weigh in without my large, vocal, demanding personality in the room. Jill thinks my running commentary could have skewed the conversations with Drs. Dutcher and George. She’s probably right. She usually is.
So, for a short time, we’re back to waiting. Dr. George will call me within two weeks and let us know if there is some type of new scan available that is super high-definition with kidney friendly contrast media. That would be great, if we could have some type of super-scan that will once and for all determine if there are any bits of cancer in other areas of soft tissue or anywhere else in my bones. If we have that scan and it comes back negative, I can relax and be OK with another wait.
I will NOT, by God, be standing here flat-footed, doing nothing and be taken down by this cancer. If this bitch wants me, it is going to have to come at me with a bloody mace in one hand, a butcher knife in the other and a mouth full of bloody teeth. If it gets me, I’ll be out of bullets, with no fingernails left. I won’t be sitting in this chair waiting to hear the tap on my front door. You can take that to the bank.
Bob Best says
Mike, I was taught “Defeat only occurs at the point of submission”! You epitomize this,that bitch doesn’t stand a chance!
peggy dozier says
I agree with Bob !! Keep the Faith !! We continue to pray. xoxoxox
Delia says
Mike, fight on! I have no doubt that bitch is going down!
Callie says
The camera comes into focus on his muzzle, steam rising from restless snorts. The camera pulls back, revealing a hoof, pawing at the ground, power coursing through sinewed muscle. His eyes are clear and focused. He tosses his head back and shakes in anticipation, then focuses again. He snorts, louder this time, as if to say, “Go ahead, Cowboy, make my day.” He almost seems to laugh. “Just try to make yourself at home on my back. I’ll throw you off so fast your head will spin. You can try to take me, but we both know how this ends, and it ain’t with an interloper on my spine. I’ve thrown you off several times already. And you’re going down again.”
Gloria Dodds says
Excellent, Callie!!
admin says
Sweet!
David and Debbie Harrell says
You have an excellence group working with you. Perhaps take a moment and think of the get away you and Jill have planned. Get all your energy ready for the next battle. From what they tell me just keep pushing it off they are working on a cure.
Marianne Cashman says
Mike
You have an amazing attitude – you are a great warrior. Praying for god days ahead for you.
Tammy Beck says
You are always in our thoughts and prayers and I thank God for your strength, determination, and damn fight. You WILL win this war!!!
Margie Ivey says
I agree and know that you will turn over every rock until you’re satisfied. Prayers continue that the cure is permanent!
Sandy Gunnels says
You bring the mace & the butcher knife – I got your back! Love ya!
Sherrie says
…and that is the kind of attitude that will keep that wolf away from your door. Keep it up!
Suzy Edge says
What a wise and determined old bull you are, Mike, and what a writer! This is all great news.
You couldn’t have a better attitude.
peggy zuckerman says
Mike, I am sure that my determination to get through HD IL2, and to do anything whatsoever to rid my body of cancer was PART of what made IL2 work for me. If I understand the current issues, it has less to do with cancer than fears for your system in the non-cancer parts. There are rare and unusual events that have occurred with the TKIs as well, and many people can attest to that. I would be asking your Dr. George how many IL2 patients he has treated, where they were treated, when, what he would have done differently, etc etc. If you have other health issues, then all those should be examined carefully prior to IL2, but to reject the possibility out of hand without all the backup info as above seems rash. Having the super-duper scan is smart, as that will help assess the info you need to see what you are up against. My motto was always, “Let the Games Begin”. I guess I always assumed I had to win. No other option counted.
Grandin says
“Great writer, great warrior, a determined old (horny) bull, having an amazing attitude, determined, excellent, sweet, wise…..” These are all words people used in their comments to describe you after reading this post……. I was thinking, “BAD ASS!!!!!” Keep on keepin’ on!!!!
Dianne Henry says
Right On, Bro.
We love ya.
Carol Ann says
Callie, I got a visual!! Wow! That’s a perfect description.
As always, I will continue to keep you, Jill, Callie and the chicken Dinner news gang in my prayers!
Lin Groover says
I get so caught up in your vivid and humorous writings – what a talent and what fun to read, even though I wish the content was different. I absolutely take it to the bank and you are so right to take charge of your direction. Doctors are like everybody else; all have opinions and they differ, but just remember it’s like football. Everybody has an opinion, a prediction, and more are wrong than right. You’re going to win this war – mace, butcher knife and whatever you need, but my money is on your determination and magnificent attitude. Prayers & thoughts are always with you, Jill and your family. Love U.
Tripp Wade says
Mike,wow… I still marvel at your ability to put into words your thoughts. As always, keep on fighting and we are with you !!!!
Lillian Champion says
Mike, keep fighting the enemy! I read about you in Joey Loudermilk’s column in the Harris County Journal yesterday.
I was so impressed with your attitude. I am an old woman, 89, but I am not giving up yet in spite of a broken hip, two
compression fractures in my spine and a broken shoulder. i was told that I should refrain from falling again since I was put back together with plates and screws. I am trying to not fall since I would probably wind up with a loose screw. Your attitude is very important, so keep thinking positive thoughts. Not long ago I had fluid around my heart. During the process of draining, my heart was punctured and I was rushed to another hospital for stitching up…..on my birthday! My attitude was “God, if you are ready for me, I’ll go, if not please let me be able to continue to think and write.” I am still here!!! And, still writing. And, still encouraging others to not give up. (News editor of the PINE MOUNTAIN REVIEW back in the late 50s and early 60s). God Bless You
Richard Catlett says
Mike: I was diagnosed in 2007 when my left leg broke unexpectedly. I was so sick and incapacitated that I waited 18 months until I had my radical Neph in Jan. of 2009. In the interim I too 50 MG Sutent which reduced my primary from 10.4 cm to 6.4 cm and had two operations to stabilize my leg and radiation to address bone mets. After Neph. I was NED for 13 Mos. then had a recurrance in my paratrcheal node which I had removed surgically. Again NED, I continued to watch and wait…now almost two years. I took my last Sutent in Dec. of 2008 and have had no drug treatment since. I’m now 71 yrs old and am waiting for the other shoe to fall. I pray for some adjuvant therapy, but see none on the drug development horizon. I had a meeting with a kidney cancer expert in Seattle to discuss HDIL2 and he didn’t see any valid reason to use it especially since I had no visible tumors. My response was “Should I grow a tumor then? He didn’t laugh. I continue to do what I can to stay strong and healthy and hope that if I have a progression it will be resectable. I feel like I’m playing Poker with my life with a bunch of professional card sharks. I will continue to watch your posts with great interest.